Trust His Voice

As I have tried to venture into silence and solitude, my discovery is somewhat unsettling; I'm afraid. I think my fear of silence with God is connected to my brand of faith. Being a Mennonite Brethern by culture and faith, I am somewhat straight laced at my core. Also, my athletic experiences exposed me to spiritual pathways and disciplines that re-inforced me to stick close to those traditional values. I have seen the dark side and the power of evil spirits; so I am quick to be happy in the safety that Jesus provides.

My fear is really of being charismatic. Why? Because it's unfamiliar. I have realised that I am afraid to let loose my spirit and my soul, for fear that I will lose control. And who will take control once it is no longer mine? Does Jesus not already have my spirit in His control? Satan cannot take what is not his. So, what then do I fear except God himself?

I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice.
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me — just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.
John 10:1-5, 14-15, 27-29

Jesus tells his disciples not to be afraid so often (Matt. 10:31, Matt. 14:27, Luke 5:10, Mark 5:36, John 14:27). I am not to fear. He has conquered the evil one of this world. He has promised me that I won't follow after darkness if I belong to Jesus. I will run from all strangers and I will only follow His voice.

The next step is to just trust.