Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13-14

Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to make this true in what I do and in my attitude.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

Driving to work or teacher training, I'm usually listening to R.C. Sproul, Ravi Zacharius, or John Piper preach at me through my iPod. I had to teach two blocks the other morning for my first observation and wanted to keep my lesson in my head; so instead I listened to some music, quietly playing so I could go over my lesson out loud in the car. I must be quite the site for those who drive next to me.

Anyhow, Ode to a Friend by Jann Arden just happened to come on in the shuffle. I just started to weep; I couldn't stop. There are only a few songs out there that will remind me of Sandra, this is one of them. I said these very words to her in my heart and hopefully somewhere in there I said them out loud to her. She is with Jesus and I envy that. I don't wish her back here; except I do. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense... it will be a sweet pleasure of heaven to see her again.

Here's the lyrics with my own words thrown in. I wish I new how to embed the song onto my blog.

I don't mind if you stay longer
It was never long enough
You have not been any trouble
She brought out the server in me
I don't want you to go home yet
I don't want you to go to your eternal home yet
can you stay just stay ten more minutes
can you stay just stay ten more years...

You are my best friend
Always
I don't know how I'd live
I don't know how I'm living sometimes
How I love you
every square inch
Love your brown eyes
your forgiveness
yeah...

Don't go home now
Don't take her yet Lord...
It's past midnight
Our greatest chats were just past midnight
You can sleep here
we'll have breakfast
Yes
I woke her up trembling one morning... will she get up?

You are my greatest gift
A gift from Jesus to all who knew her
I don't know how I'd live
I'm living and so is she...
You are my saving grace
You are by heart my true friend
Sisters joined not by blood but by the Spirit


Steve Bell has a song that washed over me, reminding me of worshiping alongside Sandra when she was here with us. Once at one of our yearly weekend retreats, we built an altar from the rocks by the river. It was really more a pile of rocks, but we tried. We built it to mark our time together in prayer and to leave something solid as a reminder and in honour of God's faithfulness to us. I heard Here by the Water on the sample CD that the church gave out before his concert and cried. At the concert, he sang the song and for some reason it surprised me; I had forgotten about it. So, there I sat; tears streaming down my face, loving the song. Sandra would love to sing it in praise to our God. Maybe we will someday...

Soft field of clover
Moon shining over the valley
Joining the song of the river
To the great giver of the great good
(the good news - the gospel!)

As it unfolds me
Somehow it holds me together
And I realize I've been singing
Still it comes ringing clearer than clear

Here by the water
I'll build an altar to praise Him
Out of the stones that I found here
And I'll set them down here,
Rough as they are

Knowing you can make them holy
Knowing you can make them holy
Knowing you can make them holy...

There's more to the song, but this is the part I like; Sandra would too.

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.
2 Corinthians 6:2b-10

sorrowful yet always rejoicing... so may it be with us.