Knowing my joy...
"... for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
I believe it, yet today, I struggle to find it living itself out as I am full of grief.
Sandra... I know she is with Jesus. Satisfied. Full. In her new glorious body. Worshipping. Never lonely again. No longer in pain. No more cancer. Just Jesus, all the time.
I will miss her. It will seem like such a long wait for me, but like nothing to her. I have loved her. She lifted me up. She took care of my fragile heart. I don't know how I will manange, but I will. The same Jesus who she sees face to face will fill me up and place my feet, one in front of the other, every day.
These are two word pictures that Sandra gave me to describe her faith and the transformation of her husband. I wrote this with her two years ago... soak it in.
The River
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Psalm 36:8-9
Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.
Revelation 22:1-2
He believed
He was at one time standing on the shore;
Watching the River rush by;
Watching his wife drink in her God and savoir.
He stepped in to the family of God.
Getting his feet wet at a few church services.
Feeling bolder or maybe seeking more –
Eventually he was knee deep in the River;
Attending bible study, participating in God’s family, absorbing the love and acceptance.
He learned, got answers to questions, and embraced the scriptures as truth;
All the while watching his wife drinking it all in.
He was in the river, but he wasn’t drinking.
Soon, he could barely keep his head above the water;
As the waves of God’s love and Jesus’ power became intoxicating.
Yet, he kept his head up,
Not leaping in to drink in the Spirit.
“What’s holding you back? I know you believe!”
She was the Spirits speaker;
Jesus literally using her, their pastor, and a marriage conference to pour his water over him.
“You can’t stand in this River forever. If you don’t drink, you’ll die of dehydration.” She said.
Walking the ‘Christian’ walk is too difficult, too impossible, without Jesus in you.
His stumbling block; a fear of hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy is not the sinner repenting.
Hypocrisy is the good man claiming righteousness all on his own.
With his one stumbling block all but blown away – the damn of resistance was gone.
The River flooded in,
And he drank.
With joy you will draw water
from the wells of salvation.
Isaiah 12:3
Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
John 7:37-38
The Cup
For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
2 Corinthians 5:4-5
We don’t come to Jesus clean and polished up.
We bring him our muddied lives.
We are like a cup of black ink.
As Jesus fills you with the living water of the Holy Spirit;
The blackness begins to fade as the ink is saturated with the word, teaching, fellowship songs, worship, and Jesus himself.
Your sins no longer written across a heart of stone in black ink,
But washed away with the Spirit of the living God.
We are continually being filled and transformed into a vessel of pure clear life.
Upon that day, when all the ink is gone, we are in paradise.
You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
2 Corinthians 3:3
14.4.08
Broken
I am broken...
I sought relief in the Word.
Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105
'I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the LORD.'" Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, because of their broken spirit and harsh slavery.
Exodus 6:6-9
And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect.
Leviticus 26:12-13
"My spirit is broken; my days are extinct;
the graveyard is ready for me.
Surely there are mockers about me,
and my eye dwells on their provocation.
... My days are past; my plans are broken off,
the desires of my heart.
Job 17:1-2, 11
All this has come upon us,
though we have not forgotten you,
and we have not been false to your covenant.
Our heart has not turned back,
nor have our steps departed from your way;
yet you have broken us in the place of jackals
and covered us with the shadow of death.
If we had forgotten the name of our God
or spread out our hands to a foreign god,
would not God discover this?
For he knows the secrets of the heart.
Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.
Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For our soul is bowed down to the dust;
our belly clings to the ground.
Rise up; come to our help!
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!
Psalm 44:17-26
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
... The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:7-9, 17
He has broken my strength in midcourse;
he has shortened my days.
"O my God," I say, "take me not away
in the midst of my days—
you whose years endure
throughout all generations!"
Psalm 102:23-24
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 34:17-19
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
They will perish, but you will remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
but you are the same, and your years have no end.
The children of your servants shall dwell secure;
their offspring shall be established before you.
Psalm 102:25-28
The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
Psalm 147:2-4
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
Ephesians 2:13-16
But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in." That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.
Romans 11:17-22
I am broken...
I sought relief in the Word.
Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105
'I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the LORD.'" Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, because of their broken spirit and harsh slavery.
Exodus 6:6-9
And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect.
Leviticus 26:12-13
"My spirit is broken; my days are extinct;
the graveyard is ready for me.
Surely there are mockers about me,
and my eye dwells on their provocation.
... My days are past; my plans are broken off,
the desires of my heart.
Job 17:1-2, 11
All this has come upon us,
though we have not forgotten you,
and we have not been false to your covenant.
Our heart has not turned back,
nor have our steps departed from your way;
yet you have broken us in the place of jackals
and covered us with the shadow of death.
If we had forgotten the name of our God
or spread out our hands to a foreign god,
would not God discover this?
For he knows the secrets of the heart.
Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.
Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For our soul is bowed down to the dust;
our belly clings to the ground.
Rise up; come to our help!
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!
Psalm 44:17-26
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
... The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:7-9, 17
He has broken my strength in midcourse;
he has shortened my days.
"O my God," I say, "take me not away
in the midst of my days—
you whose years endure
throughout all generations!"
Psalm 102:23-24
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 34:17-19
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
They will perish, but you will remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
but you are the same, and your years have no end.
The children of your servants shall dwell secure;
their offspring shall be established before you.
Psalm 102:25-28
The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
Psalm 147:2-4
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
Ephesians 2:13-16
But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in." That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.
Romans 11:17-22
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