Knowing my joy...
"... for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

I believe it, yet today, I struggle to find it living itself out as I am full of grief.

Sandra... I know she is with Jesus. Satisfied. Full. In her new glorious body. Worshipping. Never lonely again. No longer in pain. No more cancer. Just Jesus, all the time.

I will miss her. It will seem like such a long wait for me, but like nothing to her. I have loved her. She lifted me up. She took care of my fragile heart. I don't know how I will manange, but I will. The same Jesus who she sees face to face will fill me up and place my feet, one in front of the other, every day.

These are two word pictures that Sandra gave me to describe her faith and the transformation of her husband. I wrote this with her two years ago... soak it in.

The River
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Psalm 36:8-9

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.
Revelation 22:1-2

He believed
He was at one time standing on the shore;
Watching the River rush by;
Watching his wife drink in her God and savoir.
He stepped in to the family of God.
Getting his feet wet at a few church services.
Feeling bolder or maybe seeking more –
Eventually he was knee deep in the River;
Attending bible study, participating in God’s family, absorbing the love and acceptance.
He learned, got answers to questions, and embraced the scriptures as truth;
All the while watching his wife drinking it all in.
He was in the river, but he wasn’t drinking.
Soon, he could barely keep his head above the water;
As the waves of God’s love and Jesus’ power became intoxicating.
Yet, he kept his head up,
Not leaping in to drink in the Spirit.
“What’s holding you back? I know you believe!”
She was the Spirits speaker;
Jesus literally using her, their pastor, and a marriage conference to pour his water over him.
“You can’t stand in this River forever. If you don’t drink, you’ll die of dehydration.” She said.
Walking the ‘Christian’ walk is too difficult, too impossible, without Jesus in you.
His stumbling block; a fear of hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy is not the sinner repenting.
Hypocrisy is the good man claiming righteousness all on his own.
With his one stumbling block all but blown away – the damn of resistance was gone.
The River flooded in,
And he drank.

With joy you will draw water
from the wells of salvation.
Isaiah 12:3

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
John 7:37-38

The Cup
For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
2 Corinthians 5:4-5

We don’t come to Jesus clean and polished up.
We bring him our muddied lives.
We are like a cup of black ink.
As Jesus fills you with the living water of the Holy Spirit;
The blackness begins to fade as the ink is saturated with the word, teaching, fellowship songs, worship, and Jesus himself.
Your sins no longer written across a heart of stone in black ink,
But washed away with the Spirit of the living God.
We are continually being filled and transformed into a vessel of pure clear life.
Upon that day, when all the ink is gone, we are in paradise.

You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
2 Corinthians 3:3