For Gene

Your words put to music...

Take my hand
I won't let go
We've waited so long

And all my life
I walked alone
To you, my heart, my home

Like the first man
I was cut so deep by heaven's knife
When I awoke from my sleep
Oh my Lord, she's beautiful
She's a part of me
She's my wife

Bound by love
One flesh to be
An unbroken ring

And I lay down
My life for thee
In love we are free

Like the first man
I was cut so deep by heaven's knife
When I awoke from my sleep
Oh my Lord, she's beautiful
Walking up to me
Oh she's wonderful
Standing next to me
Oh she's all, all that I could need
Yeah, she's beautiful
She's a part of me
She's my wife

Heaven's Knife ~ Josh Garrels

Heaven's Knife ~ click to listen

My Boys

I thought I would share the toast I gave to my boys for graduation this year at my school. There were four boys who graduated this year... my boys... to the staff at Hope, they are our boys. We are sending them off to become the men that we see glimpses of now and pray that we will see them again.
So, here's my toast below... unfortunately, you miss my little silly ad ins this way, but enjoy.

Thank you for that wonderful toast to our staff, Dana.
I speak for all the staff at Hope that have taught you over your time at the school. It is an honour to be able to say a few words in congratulations to you and toast to your future. Since I have the mic, I wanted to address each grad individually.
As my students know, and maybe the staff members too, I’m a huge U2 fan. So, I’ve chosen a U2 song lyric for each of the grads.
Each student also chose One Word for the 2017 year instead of doing a new year’s resolution. I have framed my toast to each of them based on their word choices.

D*** - leadership Mark 10:42-45

D*, your energy and enthusiasm is going to be missed around campus. I hope you lead with that same energy as you go out from here. Don’t ever lose that youthful energy and keep on being willing to look silly. I will miss your interruptions in the gym while I’m teaching as you bring the chaos. In your desire to lead, may you first learn to follow, to understand your own flaws and seek to be more like Jesus, and then serve in your leadership.

For you D*, I chose words from the U2 song Lemon. ~ Midnight is where the day begins.
Lemon is not a song filled with the usual U2 wisdom, but this line repeats in the background. I chose this for you because it’s a reminder to you that it is in times of darkness, struggle, and hardships that the dawn, the light of Jesus shines through. Always remember to look for that.

G*** - change 1 Corinthians 15:51-52

G*, your generosity marks much of my memories of you. Your worshipful singing in Chapel will be missed. It was a good example to the younger students and even to me to look up and see you singing with such emotion; very encouraging. You are a thinker and a skeptic at times. I have witnessed you opening your heart and allowing that to change your mind. That’s the supernatural power of the Spirit. As you continue to learn and grow, facing the changes ahead, let your heart lead your head.
And that leads me to your U2 song lyric which is from Vertigo ~ Your head can't rule your heart. G*, it’s when you allow your heart to inform your mind that you will be able to respond with openness and courage as you move into all the changes that are ahead in the coming years.

D****l - success Matthew 25:21

D*l, you shared with me your verse choice for grad this year; The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen. - Revelation 22:21. I think it fits your sensibilities; and it is a window into your true heart that you desire for God’s grace to be given to everyone. I know that as you seek to find your successes in the future, there will be times of difficulty and you will need the grace of God and others in order to be truly successful. My hope is that you seek true success which will allow you to hear God say that he is pleased with you.
My U2 song lyric for you is from One Tree Hill ~ I'll see you again when the stars fall from the sky. I know I will see you again before the stars fall from the sky… but this reminds me of your sentimental nature, a kindness that softens your rough edges, something you often hide from others. You see the end and although it seems fatalistic, you are an optimist in an anti-optimist kind of way. Love large D*l, seek the truth, and I believe I will see you when the stars fall from the sky, on the other side.

T***** - understanding 2 Peter 3:14-18

T*, this year you chose such a great word that was perfect for you! Working with you one on one this year, as you were my only Communications student, I saw first hand your servant heart and your desire to understand; not only yourself but others around you. As you grow in your understanding of yourself this will help you to understand God’s amazing plans for you, and it will also help you to continue to grow in understanding others. Never give up the desire to understand. You have the most important thing figured out; you know Jesus loves you. That is your foundation and from that you can grow in grace and understanding.
My U2 song lyric for you is from the song Beautiful Day ~ The heart is a bloom… your heart is full of joy and seeks to help. Always allow that to bloom and keep finding beauty in each day as you set out from here.

So, raise your glasses, to the grads of 2017.

May you find that all your paths lead to success as you embrace the many changes ahead.
And may you be leaders that serve others out of love, always growing in your understanding by the power of the Holy Spirit.

* Ask D*l to come forward to stab the ever flat volleyball with a knife - because I promised he could, and I keep my promises.

Malaise

I have general malaise. I have been fighting it for this entire month. The nature of malaise is that the cause is unknown; which is definitely true in this case. There is no reason for me to be melancholy, or unhappy, and to be experiencing angst. But it is June...

June is my birthday month, which is actually a good thing. I don't have any ill regard for birthdays and I don't worry about getting older. I have even thrown myself a birthday party or two to celebrate. June is the beginning of summer, which I would say if I had to pick, would be my favourite season. June is the end of the school year and in past years the beginning of camping, long days, nights by the fire, days at the lake and beach, and no schedules to maintain with my children. June is the last month before I get 6 weeks vacation. After the last teaching day, I can stop waking up to an alarm clock and instead allow my body decides to wake-up naturally. June is when I take out my hammock and my first lounges looking up at the sky and trees begin. June is Father's day, and I love my dad, so that's good. In June the constant rain begins to fade and the sun shines more often. My high school basketball team that won two Provincial titles is being inducted into the Coquitlam Sports Hall of Fame, and that's happening tomorrow. This year, June marks the month before I get married. There are only 18 days left before I get to have the best husband I could have ever imagined. So that's pretty amazing...

June is also when my allergies are at their worst. It's not just me that suffers, but my children as well. The amount of money that goes into masking our bodies reactions to all this completely harmless pollen, actually puts a noticeable dent in my bank account. Since I started working full time as a teacher, June is also the end of the work year. Although this means vacation is just around the corner, it also comes with lots of work, reporting, cleaning, inventory, year end parties and responsibilities, and getting ready for the next year ahead. As I said, June is my birthday month and this year my sister is throwing me a party. It's going to be fun. I know I don't sound excited... I will be when I'm celebrating. I have been trying to deny that I'm upset that my fiance isn't coming for my birthday, but that's just not working. I'm disappointed. I understand why, I don't expect it to change, and I'm not mad. It's just adding to the malaise. For a work related issue, I am in mediation next week and it will take all day, the day before report cards are due. Perfect. Father's Day in  June is good for me, but for my kids, it isn't. For them it is another reminder of their broken relationship with their dad. This year, for me this seems even more evident. As I compare the relationship that my fiance has with his children and his Father's Day activities that are rightfully keeping him from me. It's a reminder that although his relationship with his children isn't perfect, it's so much better than what my children have, there is no comparison. I wept over that this year, and I've been praying for their dad... something has to get better and it needs to come from him.

The mixture of good and bad emotions and events in June is draining me this year. It is this time of year that I am reminded that I need to rest, but find that I can't rest. I have needed to rest for almost four years. I am restless at night, procrastinate during the day, and directionless in my tasks. I am endlessly tired. My mind seems to be a sieve and I cannot retain the simplest of information. It is this time of year that reminds me that I want to stop. I want to stop doing everything.

Normally, I use exercise to rid myself of the malaise, but I currently have sore hips and I'm feeling a little bummed that I have to put my running routine on hold. I have to keep calm and carry on about that; just change up the routine and stop whining.... I must plow on through. I need to maintain the way all this flesh hangs on my bones; going to Cancun in July, I can't afford to ignore it. I have too many great things that are just around the corner and more than a month of rest ahead.

Now that I've said it, maybe I can get some shit done.

I really wish I could skip this part of every year.