5.10.09

BLOGGING: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.


LOL that is too funny... and too true.

Just a reminder to me that the perils of blogging are narcissistic in nature. My vanity can make me believe that the masses are reading and actually benefiting from my blog. In the past the only thing that has ever come out of my blog is grief - and usually I have hurt people with my words and my desire to be right. I'm not sure why I still post. It is an outlet, yet I'm starting to think that I should just put it aside. I have a desire to write and to share what God is showing me and leading me through. I wonder if there is a better way, one I'm missing because I hang on to this.

Yet now I'm going to click 'publish now'; imagining that it will somehow make this a resolution.

I'll probably post something next week.

1.10.09

1 Timothy 1:5-14
I was reminded of this passage this morning as a woman of God quoted verse 12 in her southern twang - made me want to get up and say it with her!

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because ofhis own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel,which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

29.9.09

A story that needs to be told is never filled with everything good. There are sad difficult aspects and often there is tragedy and regret. No one wants to hear about some ones life that was perfect.

Perfect.

I'm not sure we understand what that word really means. Jesus was perfect - never did, said, or thought wrong. Was his life without pain, struggle, loss, and sadness? No; the perfect man dealt with all that perfectly. So, in our lives of imperfection; why do we expect a smooth free ride in life? Add the ridiculousness of our choices, the depravity that lies just beneath our smiling faces, and our lack of consistency in good behaviour, and we make the imperfect life almost unbearable. We do that; there is no one else to blame.

I'm grumbling.

Grumbling makes the time of trial a much worse nightmare. Charles Price said in his sermon 'The bitter water of Marah', that the Christians life is marked by triumph and trial, feast and fight, light and dark. He says the sooner we relent to this fact the less unhappy we will be. So, he says to ask yourself what is God saying to me in this time of testing, trial, fight, or darkness? Maybe the specific answer is elusive or just none of your business. We don't like that. How can God think that something affecting me, my life, my livelihood, my kids, my marriage, my reputation, be none of my business? My pastor, Doug, would ask me - 'How far will your faith take you?' I'm asking myself right now - 'The God you know, the faithful, trustworthy, saviour, loving, full of grace and mercy, and the most powerful Holy God, would He allow anything except what is best for you?'

I already know the answer.

Yet, I don't like the trial, the fight or the darkness. Who does really? After such great triumph to find ourselves once again choked by the cares of the world, worry, and even fear is disheartening. I went back and looked at a study I did a few years back - 'When Godly People do Ungodly Things' - it was then that I took up 2 Corinthians 10:5 which states, "... take every thought captive to obey Christ." All of my trouble right now only feels worse when I'm negative. And let's be truthful; our ungodly behaviour comes from our ungodly thoughts.

Lord, renew my mind (Romans 12:1-3), by the Holy Spirit's power, fill my thoughts with only what is good (Philippians 4:8), and even in this bitter place that I must be, show me how to drink so that it may be sweet to me (Exodus 15:22-27). May you cause me to go to the source of living water, Jesus; who has promised to those who believe, hearts with flowing rivers of living water (John 7:37-38).

I can feel the joy returning to me - well sort-of :)

I usually want to pray for a miracle that would make everything as it should be in just a few days. Maybe part of the point of the trial is to learn to be content in all circumstances. What a miracle that would be.

22.9.09

I found this in an old book that my grandmother gave to me about a year ago. It just fell out; and how timely as I seek God's will.

In the Bulb There Is a Flower
In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter; there's a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There's a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There's a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity.
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory.
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

18.8.09

Quotes that made me smile, made me think and offered encouragement.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind that I will never die.
Calvin and Hobbes

Success can go to my head, and will unless I remember that it is God who accomplishes the work, and that he will be able to make out with other means whenever he cuts me down to size.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Try not to become a person of success but rather a person of value.
Albert Einstein

The healthiest relationships are those that breathe - that move out and then move back together.
James Dobson

And finally....

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of just about anything you please. Volvo - a car that cannot only help save your life, but help save your soul.
Volvo Ad Campaign - LOL

I have a Volvo wagon for sale if anyone wants to take them up on their offer.

9.8.09

Thank You...

I was thanked this week for doing one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My husband and I were both thanked by someone who doesn't even directly benefit from what we did and are doing. We were thanked for God's glory shining in our weakness, in our sin repented, and our reconciliation begun. I've never been thanked for letting my shame be washed in the blood of my savior Jesus Christ.

I am reminded of what James wrote;
"And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
James 5:15-16

In coming before our brothers and sisters, we opened our lives to the prayer of many righteous. Some things are meant to be told; it is in community that we can become more like Christ.

I think that this 'thank you' is really to the one true living God, creator and sustainer, Father of all, savior of the lost, promised Messiah, ruler and King.

And so I go, into the rest of this journey of reconciliation with great hope and caution to keep up the good fight; ruthlessly trusting Jesus to allow that which seems impossible and against all odds, bring glory only to his glorious name.

"...take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."
2 Peter 3:17-18

In Jesus precious name...

25.7.09

I am so proud of my son tonight. He made a decision to be obedient; he was left alone by his friends as they went on without him; I'm sure he was pressured, but he did not fall; he was more than just obedient to myself and his father, he was obedient to our God. He honored his parents tonight and honored the God he worships.

May the Lord truly bless him as he stands firm.

1A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,
and favor is better than silver or gold.
2 The rich and the poor meet together;
the LORD is the maker of them all.
3 The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
but the simple go on and suffer for it.
4The reward for humility and fear of the LORD
is riches and honor and life.
5 Thorns and snares are in the way of the crooked;
whoever guards his soul will keep far from them.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
7 The rich rules over the poor,
and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
8Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity,
and the rod of his fury will fail.
9 Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed,
for he shares his bread with the poor.
10 Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out,
and quarreling and abuse will cease.
11He who loves purity of heart,
and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
12The eyes of the LORD keep watch over knowledge,
but he overthrows the words of the traitor.
13 The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside!
I shall be killed in the streets!"
14The mouth of forbidden women is a deep pit;
he with whom the LORD is angry will fall into it.
15Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
16Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth,
or gives to the rich, will only come to poverty.
Proverbs 22:1-16

13.7.09

The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers. And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.
Deuteronomy 8:1-3 (emphasis mine)

The journey began forty days ago; I know that it is not over - there is plenty more to change and learn. The transformation has only just begun. Yet, as I praised God for what had come to fruition on Friday (the fortieth day), His still small voice reminded me that it had been forty days - just as he had told me.

My husband has blessed me with his sacrifice. He chose me!

PRAYER
Lord, keep us humble to follow your commands, let us hunger for your word which is food to our souls, and make us know only a life sustained in Jesus.

30.6.09

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.
From the Big Book.
I really don't know how to do this...

I said, "I will guard my ways,
that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle,
so long as the wicked are in my presence."
I was mute and silent;
I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.
My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:

"O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!
Selah

Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.

Deliver me from all my transgressions.
Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
for it is you who have done it.
Remove your stroke from me;
I am spent by the hostility of your hand.
When you discipline a man
with rebukes for sin,
you consume like a moth what is dear to him;
surely all mankind is a mere breath!
Selah

"Hear my prayer, O LORD,
and give ear to my cry;
hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
a guest, like all my fathers.
Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!"

Psalm 39

10.6.09

Lead us Lord
by Brian Doerksen

Here we stand
At a crossroads again
Like you said
In time the seasons change

Looking back
We recall the blessing and the pain
But now we turn our hearts toward
What is still to come
We want to dream again

Lead us Lord
Into a life of fruitfulness
Prepare our hearts to risk again
As we trust
Taking simple steps of obedience we know
That you will lead us Lord


Perfect words that speak to this moment along the journey.

31.5.09

For you shall not go out in haste,
and you shall not go in flight,
for the LORD will go before you,
and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.
Isaiah 52:12

I'm not going to go too fast, but slowing down is hard to do when you feel urgency; yet I will trust the word of the LORD. He is before me and behind me - such incredible comfort.

22.5.09

When I'm in need of inspiration and hope restored, I always turn to prayer, my bible, and music. I recently created a new "Playlist" on my iPod for 'Down and Slow' music; but I have to say, some of the songs I put in that list have brought me great hope and comfort today. They are honest and sad but sprinkled with hope for better things. Right now I'm listening to "Saved" by Jann Arden; and I think I'll go and push 'repeat'.

Lived a good life
Lived a sweet live
Oh, I've had the sun on my face
I had fallen to my knees and been amazed
I have walked beneath the brilliance of a perfect sky
Oh I am Saved
Saved
Lived a good life
Lived a sweet life
Oh I have a beautiful friend
I am breathless from the mercy of a smile
I am standing on the brink of the most perfect love
Oh I am Saved
Saved
I am Saved I believe
I am not going to be like I was
I have changed I am Saved
I have bitten off the pieces that I did not want
I have torn them into tiny bits of rain
Oh the sun has dried those memories
like I knew it would
Oh I am Saved
I am Saved
I am Saved
Saved
Saved
I am Saved
Oh I am Saved
I have bitten off the pieces that I did not want
I have bitten off the pieces that I did not want
Yes, I have bitten off the pieces that I did not want
Oh, I am
Oh I am Saved
I am Saved

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Romans 8:18-25

19.5.09

Verses that were given to me today.

The LORD by wisdom founded the earth;
by understanding he established the heavens;
by his knowledge the deeps broke open,
and the clouds drop down the dew.

My son, do not lose sight of these—
keep sound wisdom and discretion,
and they will be life for your soul
and adornment for your neck.
Then you will walk on your way securely,
and your foot will not stumble.
If you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Do not be afraid of sudden terror
or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,
for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being caught.
Proverbs 3:19-26

By wisdom a house is built,
and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled
with all precious and pleasant riches.
Proverbs 24:3-4

... and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is Zion’s treasure.
Isaiah 33:8

My people will abide in a peaceful habitation,
in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.
Isaiah 32:18

13.5.09

SAFE TO LAND
Jars of Clay

Getting tired from all this circling
Not much grace left on a broken wing
I feel the wind trying to push me down
It happens every time I get to town

I search for shelter near the mines we swept
I guess forgiveness hasn’t happened yet
There are no words that I can say to you
That turn this careless sky from black to blue
So I’m asking you is it safe? Is it safe to land?
‘Cuz I’m not going far on an empty heart
Is it safe? Is it safe to land? It’s the long fall back to earth is the hardest part

I’m in no weather for apologies
I need your runway lights to burn for me
And if you say that I can come around
I’ll love you right, yea I won’t let you down, I won’t let you down

‘Cuz I’m coming home, if these wheels touch down
I’m coming home I’m waking you up in the middle of the night I’m not giving up
I’m gonna stay ‘til we make it work
We’re not going down even if it gets worse
We’ll work it out. Yeah we’ll work it out.
I need light to guide me in
Oh, Yeah is it safe?
Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:8-31

Today a friend gave me a CD with a song that was related to my last post and it made me realize that I still have this blog! I ignore it and lately I really don't know why I still have it. It's something that I just can't let go of. So I thought I would post something new...

The above text from Proverbs has been said to be an overwhelming example that the Bible holds as the standard for a Christian woman. Yesterday, when I saw that it was my verse of the day on my biblebgateway gadget, I was overwhelmed in a totally different way. As I thought about what is ahead and what is required of me in my role as wife and mother, I know that I want to do what is praise worthy. It's going to be hard, and it is hard, but I have confidence in the strength that Jesus will give me to earn that praise. Yet I know that once given, I'll turn around and give it back to Jesus - the one who gave me all.

Sometimes the best thing that ever happens to you has a very big rough patch.

17.3.09

Romans 4:17,18
"... the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. In hope he believed against hope..."

I believe in a God who makes things are that are not. I am hoping against hope today that His plan is unfolding even though I don't see any signs that is.

Going, not knowing, we are continuing to go on our journey in another direction. I just wish we knew exactly what direction that was.

Well, life is never boring.

24.1.09

“For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God’s will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.”
Romans 1:9-12

I just wanted to remind you - that being a part of a Bible study, care group, or prayer group is the best thing in the world.

8.1.09

Verses that are getting some re-run action in my brain.

Ephesians 5:15-16
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

Deuteronomy 1:6,7
"The LORD our God said to us..., 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Turn and take your journey..."

Romans 12:14-21
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

2 Peter 1:2-8
"May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. "

James 4:7-10
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you."

Psalm 40:5
You have multiplied, O LORD my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.