Switchfoot
Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running to me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, and into me
Song lyrics always get me...
23.7.16
21.7.16
Big Girls Are Best
It's my mom's 70th birthday today. We're having a big party for her at her newly renovated house with family and friends. It's kind of a big deal. Reflecting on my mom, just like my dad... she has influenced me in very big ways. I have BIG parents with huge personality and my mom is not to be overshadowed by her larger than life husband. The older I get, the more I realize how great my mom truly is.
My mom became a nurse back when that's what you did if you were a woman. She was determined to go away on missions if her relationship with my dad didn't result in marriage... that's what she has always told us anyway. She worked hard as a nurse, but I think she worked harder at home. When we were growing up she had a name for herself while she cleaned gutters, gardened, painted, and fixed everything up around our house - she was Edith the German maintenance lady. While I was playing in the yard... she was on the roof doing something. I asked her a question... and she responded in German to me, then said that my mom wasn't home in a thick accent! Seriously funny! I think it may have only happened once, but I loved it! She has always taken pride in her home and garden.
When my dad decided to leave teaching and become a pastor, he waited for my mom to agree to the idea for a whole year before they moved forward with it. She gave up a lot of her time, energy, and privacy to follow my dad into the ministry. She has done everything in the church from nursery, to coffee service, to playing the piano, to ladies bible study. Her hospitality is unmatched by any other pastor's wife I know. She should teach a course on how to support your husband in the ministry, because there are a ton of women out there that have no idea what they're doing.
My mom always worked; night shifts, day shifts and would sleep strange hours. I remember her vacuuming at 2am and her being asleep when we'd leave for school. She taught me to cook, sew, clean, do laundry, take time to read, work hard, take care of my own things and label them, make a house look like a home, be present, how to camp and do it well, get dirty, be a lady, be kind, stand tall, exercise to feel good, eat well, dress well, be a problem solver, invite others in, treat people from all over like family, and bring all my troubles to Jesus.
My mom is big. I don't mean in size, I mean in life. She is what U2 means when they sing "Big Girls Are Best".
She's not on her back, she's the glue, she keeps it all together.
She feels every sensation and has a smile like salvation.
And we know... she's a sexy momma ;)
She's political, spiritual, she's not superficial...
I love my mom. She's part of why I'm so BIG.
Big Girls Are Best - U2
My mom became a nurse back when that's what you did if you were a woman. She was determined to go away on missions if her relationship with my dad didn't result in marriage... that's what she has always told us anyway. She worked hard as a nurse, but I think she worked harder at home. When we were growing up she had a name for herself while she cleaned gutters, gardened, painted, and fixed everything up around our house - she was Edith the German maintenance lady. While I was playing in the yard... she was on the roof doing something. I asked her a question... and she responded in German to me, then said that my mom wasn't home in a thick accent! Seriously funny! I think it may have only happened once, but I loved it! She has always taken pride in her home and garden.
When my dad decided to leave teaching and become a pastor, he waited for my mom to agree to the idea for a whole year before they moved forward with it. She gave up a lot of her time, energy, and privacy to follow my dad into the ministry. She has done everything in the church from nursery, to coffee service, to playing the piano, to ladies bible study. Her hospitality is unmatched by any other pastor's wife I know. She should teach a course on how to support your husband in the ministry, because there are a ton of women out there that have no idea what they're doing.
My mom always worked; night shifts, day shifts and would sleep strange hours. I remember her vacuuming at 2am and her being asleep when we'd leave for school. She taught me to cook, sew, clean, do laundry, take time to read, work hard, take care of my own things and label them, make a house look like a home, be present, how to camp and do it well, get dirty, be a lady, be kind, stand tall, exercise to feel good, eat well, dress well, be a problem solver, invite others in, treat people from all over like family, and bring all my troubles to Jesus.
My mom is big. I don't mean in size, I mean in life. She is what U2 means when they sing "Big Girls Are Best".
She's not on her back, she's the glue, she keeps it all together.
She feels every sensation and has a smile like salvation.
And we know... she's a sexy momma ;)
She's political, spiritual, she's not superficial...
I love my mom. She's part of why I'm so BIG.
Big Girls Are Best - U2
15.7.16
Other-centeredness = love
... marriage is the ultimate human relationship where love fully replaces law.
Bruxy Cavey
He says also that no one ever writes rules into their wedding vows about physical or verbal abuse (or any form of abuse for that matter), because the relationship is love-based rather than law-based. Love fulfills all moral and ethical responsibilities toward one another. (Bruxy Cavey & N. Kenneth Rideout)
I read that back in 2011; before I understood, before anything really changed. It wasn't underlined or highlighted until today... because today I'm not ashamed of what happened. Today, I want to be able to walk into a relationship where love fully replaces law.
Bruxy goes on further to say...
... when exiting a marriage, everything changes. When a divorce occurs, people's orientation is away from their partner, so the details of law take center stage. Law and love are two entirely different ways of being, analogous to the difference between marriage vows and separation agreements.
The law has left me empty, tired, and broke.
I'm ready for love to fill me, wake me up, and bring me true wealth.
My dad quoted something from a Charles Price devotional that I liked .... 'for this I have Jesus'. When someone asks you how you've moved on, or carried the burden, or manage to smile despite the pain, or work so hard when so much is falling apart, or take on more challenges when you seem to have too many, or even have a hopeful attitude in this crazy world... simply say 'For this I have Jesus'. What you're really saying is 'for this I have love'. But it's greater than that because it's supernatural, it's not dependant on your human ability to feel love. Instead it's the supernatural love that moves, acts, behaves, and embraces; sometimes despite how you feel. It's not just romantic love, its so much bigger than that. I feel like that should replace the old and tired statement of 'what would Jesus do'. We need Jesus to show up and do it for us! Jesus loves.... our world, our relationships, need more of that.
I feel like we are so bogged down by egocentric issues that even in our desire to love more we get it wrong. We take the command to love your neighbour as yourself and say we must first love ourselves. Jesus' command assumes self love as a foundational reality; we will do anything to make ourselves more comfortable and feel better. We naturally think about ourselves all the time. Jesus is challenging us to move our self-centeredness to other-centeredness. As long as we are oriented toward one another in other-centered love, no one has to become a rules or systems manager. (from Bruxy Cavey too... :)
But yes, we need law to govern our societies because people do not love automatically as they should... and again, just as Bruxy says. But maybe one relationship at a time, we can be other-centered. It's interesting to me because our world is kind of begging for this right now. I just heard a comedian basically quote what Jesus says... love your enemies... and then he gives the same reason scripture gives in Romans 12:20 and Proverbs 25:22 - in showing love you will heap burning coals on the head of your enemy - in a much more crass way he says instead... you'll make them look like the asshole. So, don't be the asshole.
Watch Jim Jefferies here Jim Jefferies - Trump 2016
I feel like this post has gone a little all over the place.... I started with the example of marriage and love in a culture where marriage is not valued and has been redefined by many. My own marriage did not fall under the definition that I have explained in this post, and yet I still believe marriage should be that and that we should aspire to that. I want all my relationships (with my children, my friends, my co-workers, my boss, my neighbours) to be other-centered so that they work and grow in mutual respect. I can't fix every relationship out there that could or may be causing pain, grief, struggle, death, destruction, and fear. No one can. We can only start by loving someone right in front of us.
I guess when I say I'm ready for love to fill me up, wake me up, and give me true wealth, I think our world is ripe for that too. We need to talk about Jesus to people... He is love. For this I have Jesus. Stop saying God, it's not specific enough, and for most it leaves you feeling heavy with your own burdens of who God is and the destructive power of religion. Jesus isn't religion, he's relationship; he's the full revelation of who God is. For (you fill in the blank) I have Jesus.
On a personal note.... I am in the throws of love these days.... feeling that gives me hope and has changed my perspective. It is also preoccupying my mind! As Song of Solomon says in chapter 2:3-7, he is like an apple tree and I am sitting in his shadow, his fruit is sweet to my taste... but I need to be sustained with something else and let it unfold at it's proper pace. For this... I have Jesus... lol
Bruxy Cavey
He says also that no one ever writes rules into their wedding vows about physical or verbal abuse (or any form of abuse for that matter), because the relationship is love-based rather than law-based. Love fulfills all moral and ethical responsibilities toward one another. (Bruxy Cavey & N. Kenneth Rideout)
I read that back in 2011; before I understood, before anything really changed. It wasn't underlined or highlighted until today... because today I'm not ashamed of what happened. Today, I want to be able to walk into a relationship where love fully replaces law.
Bruxy goes on further to say...
... when exiting a marriage, everything changes. When a divorce occurs, people's orientation is away from their partner, so the details of law take center stage. Law and love are two entirely different ways of being, analogous to the difference between marriage vows and separation agreements.
The law has left me empty, tired, and broke.
I'm ready for love to fill me, wake me up, and bring me true wealth.
My dad quoted something from a Charles Price devotional that I liked .... 'for this I have Jesus'. When someone asks you how you've moved on, or carried the burden, or manage to smile despite the pain, or work so hard when so much is falling apart, or take on more challenges when you seem to have too many, or even have a hopeful attitude in this crazy world... simply say 'For this I have Jesus'. What you're really saying is 'for this I have love'. But it's greater than that because it's supernatural, it's not dependant on your human ability to feel love. Instead it's the supernatural love that moves, acts, behaves, and embraces; sometimes despite how you feel. It's not just romantic love, its so much bigger than that. I feel like that should replace the old and tired statement of 'what would Jesus do'. We need Jesus to show up and do it for us! Jesus loves.... our world, our relationships, need more of that.
I feel like we are so bogged down by egocentric issues that even in our desire to love more we get it wrong. We take the command to love your neighbour as yourself and say we must first love ourselves. Jesus' command assumes self love as a foundational reality; we will do anything to make ourselves more comfortable and feel better. We naturally think about ourselves all the time. Jesus is challenging us to move our self-centeredness to other-centeredness. As long as we are oriented toward one another in other-centered love, no one has to become a rules or systems manager. (from Bruxy Cavey too... :)
But yes, we need law to govern our societies because people do not love automatically as they should... and again, just as Bruxy says. But maybe one relationship at a time, we can be other-centered. It's interesting to me because our world is kind of begging for this right now. I just heard a comedian basically quote what Jesus says... love your enemies... and then he gives the same reason scripture gives in Romans 12:20 and Proverbs 25:22 - in showing love you will heap burning coals on the head of your enemy - in a much more crass way he says instead... you'll make them look like the asshole. So, don't be the asshole.
Watch Jim Jefferies here Jim Jefferies - Trump 2016
I feel like this post has gone a little all over the place.... I started with the example of marriage and love in a culture where marriage is not valued and has been redefined by many. My own marriage did not fall under the definition that I have explained in this post, and yet I still believe marriage should be that and that we should aspire to that. I want all my relationships (with my children, my friends, my co-workers, my boss, my neighbours) to be other-centered so that they work and grow in mutual respect. I can't fix every relationship out there that could or may be causing pain, grief, struggle, death, destruction, and fear. No one can. We can only start by loving someone right in front of us.
I guess when I say I'm ready for love to fill me up, wake me up, and give me true wealth, I think our world is ripe for that too. We need to talk about Jesus to people... He is love. For this I have Jesus. Stop saying God, it's not specific enough, and for most it leaves you feeling heavy with your own burdens of who God is and the destructive power of religion. Jesus isn't religion, he's relationship; he's the full revelation of who God is. For (you fill in the blank) I have Jesus.
On a personal note.... I am in the throws of love these days.... feeling that gives me hope and has changed my perspective. It is also preoccupying my mind! As Song of Solomon says in chapter 2:3-7, he is like an apple tree and I am sitting in his shadow, his fruit is sweet to my taste... but I need to be sustained with something else and let it unfold at it's proper pace. For this... I have Jesus... lol
10.7.16
Hold Hands
At the end of the day, when I'm tired and have spent my time doing what I've been called to do, I want to hold someone's hand who I know loves me; even if I failed that day to do it right.
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