I'm tired. I know many others out there that are as well. It's an epidemic. We all have our reasons. Maybe we have a lot on our plate right now. Our mistakes have caught up with us and left us flat on our backs. The weight of responsibility seems just too heavy to carry. The plans we laid out are not panning out the way we'd thought. Family relationships are stressful. I could list more I'm sure, but it all falls under the same category; burdens that we pick up every day.

I was reading a friends blog and came across the familiar words of Jesus;
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

Putting our burdens on Jesus yoke is not a one time deal but an every day task. And yet, I think, like many of you, I seem to forget to do that as I start out each day.

Another scripture came to mind and I'm not sure of the connection here... so help me out.

James 4:13-17
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. (ESV)

Do these verses burden you or unburden you? Today I feel the load of them. I often do feel the load of knowing the truth and of understanding what God wants from me; because I'm tired. I am still looking for the balance of placing my burdens at the feet of Jesus and doing that which I know is His will. I have learned that doing His will is not automatic. It requires a constant checking of myself at the door. At times I am zealous and ready to fight and yell for what God is placing on my heart. But then I become drained and alienated from all things human it seems. It's as if my thoughts and notions are so 'other' that I'm uncomfotable to be around.

I am reminded, as I type, that Tim wrote about leaving our slavery to sin and becoming a slave to righteousness referring to Romans 6:15-23. Hopefully he'll write something about what he's learning and I can learn too.

I hope that you can balance the burden/freedom that comes as your walk with Jesus deepens. I love what Jesus has done for me and who he has made me thus far. I put him above all in my life; but I am tired. I await the rest of heaven with great anticipation.

Scripture never tells you to forgive yourself.

I'm not sure why I never realized that. I found myself telling someone that they had to forgive themselves and move on and then a week later heard this quote on a Beth Moore video. Scripture tells us that God has forgiven us through the blood of Jesus Christ; that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven; but never forgive yourself.

Ephesians 4:32 says;
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (ESV)

Beth Moore gave the Greek word for 'forgiving' in this verse and I went home to look it up myself. The word is charizomai, which is a word related to charis meaning grace. I liked how she re-worded the verse to say; Grace others as you've been graced. It really hit home for me.

I've walked in sins that seem larger than others, more public I suppose. The sins that plague me the most, however, are those that you have to step into my inner world to see. I've been forgiven for all of them. I've been given much grace; and yet I seem to lack the ability to give it as freely as I should. This to me is just another seduction of sin; to be judgemental without grace.

So, in accepting your forgiveness from Jesus and applying it to others, that covers our need to forgive ourselves. Scripture says that God forgives and forgets (Jeremiah 31:34, Psalm 103:12, Hebrews 8:12 etc.). We can't forget. We have to reframe it and allow God to take our horrible experience or our evil deeds and cleanse them in mercy. That way, we can use what we know to remember God's grace, His love, His faithfulness - and then in turn help others who have fallen in the same way. The legacy of your mistakes is grace. God's glory is seen in how he took your mess and made it beautiful.

2Peter 3:18 says;
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (ESV)

All glory to my King, my savoir, my God, my friend and my deliverer.