1.8.16

Warning or Wonder

I have been as a portent to many,
    but you are my strong refuge.
...
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities
    will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will bring me up again.
You will increase my greatness
    and comfort me again.
Psalm 71:7, 20-21

Portent: a sign or warning that something, especially something momentous or calamitous, is likely to happen.
archaic meaning: an exceptional or wonderful person or thing

I am a portent. Whether I am the portent of old or not remains to be seen. Much of my life is a warning to my children and to those I know; don't do what I did. I am a strong person, but I'm no fool. I know that I could not have withstood that which has occurred in my life without Jesus who is my rock, my saviour, my friend. I used to think that all my troubles were caused because God was punishing me for all my sin. How did a girl with an evangelist father grow up with that false understanding of God? It snuck in there because I continued to sin and the devil liked me to believe it; kept me in my bad behaviour and away from the saving grace of Jesus. That thinking still threatens to keep me from Jesus even today. I feel that I will never be perfect enough to receive the blessing of a renewed life where I'm brought up again and feel the comfort of the Lord. Each sin repeated reminds me of my distance from this future. It keeps many from him. They reject a false God, not Jesus. The devil likes it that way. Jesus reveals that God is love. The verses from Psalm 71 don't make sense any other way.

Now you know I believe in the devil. Life is a story that has a villain and a saviour. The spiritual world doesn't make sense without it. I'm not blaming the devil... evil comes from the heart - mine and yours. Jesus said that. And we all know it's true. Who can save us from these bodies of death? Jesus.

A warning or a wonder... it doesn't matter. I think I'm both...

Maria out.

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