It really intrigued me and I couldn't get it out of my mind. The problem is, the word that kept coming to my mind to choose bothers me a little bit. I even tried to find a Bible verse to replace it, telling myself that it was to confirm that the word was correct. Really, I would rather not have this word as my one word for the year.
Let me quote what I read so that you can understand what I'm taking about with this one word idea.
I used to make a long list of goals I’d like to achieve in the new year, but never managed to live up to them (or, at times, even remember what they were.)It only left me feeling like a failure.By Alece Ronzino
So I began choosing just One Word as I step into a new year. One word that sums up who I want to be, or a character trait I want to develop, or an attribute I want to intentionally add to my life.
And since it’s just one word, it’s easy to remember. I place reminders of it around my home and workspace, and I inevitably start seeing and hearing it everywhere, which helps me stay mindful of it.
I read the piece to my daughter and she also chose a word. She said it immediately popped into her head. I asked her what it was and she quickly replied 'caring'. When I think of my daughter, that sounds about right. I reluctantly shared the word that came to my mind with her. Her reaction was an instant 'OH!!'. That confirmed it for me; even she knows it is the right word. So now I have to accept that this is the word that God has given me. It simply won't go away.
My word is 'Attitude'.
I have always liked my attitude. I think that it is part of what makes me who I am. Not everyone else appreciates my attitude. I have an attitude problem, you see, that has plagued me for many years. It is easy enough to say that those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind; but it seems that even those who matter are minding - including myself. I am starting to see that my outlook on life is not as good as it could be. It is affecting my life, my work, my relationships, and how I react to what is happening in the moment and how I prepare for situations and events.
Over the years I have developed a negative attitude that permeates much of my thinking about everything; from finding the right size shoe at a store, to how I feel about the future of my marriage. I have little hope that anything that is currently 'bad' will change for the better. I harbour anger about some of the things that have happened in my past. There are a few things that I have regret over. Anger seems to be the only way to get myself up and moving quickly with purpose in any given area of my life. I am struggling to find joy even in a job and coaching position that just five years ago I would have been over the moon about. For the most part I have covered up these truly negative attitudes. Lately, I think that my close family and friends have seen this negativity and although it has a very practical and self preserving purpose, it is making me less palpable.
Maybe some of my readers are surprised to read that I have a dark pessimistic realism that does not lend itself to exuberant joy and warm fuzzies. I think I have been that joyful person. I do feel deeply and react strongly; but lately, I feel kind of like I'm dragging around a dead spirit in my back pocket. I want it to go away. It feels like a dark cloud has been hanging around my mind and spirit for the past three years or so. It is making me tired. I pray for deliverance. I pray that as I meditate and become intentional about my attitude, Jesus will show up when I least expect him to. I haven't lost hope in Him; but my attitude is limiting what I will allow him to do in me.
Jesus said;
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love,... that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
John 15:9-11
Attitude.
I wonder what is going to happen this year?
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